An ad featuring these pictures just popped into my inbox and thoroughly disgusted me:
good photo of gross thing by Mitzi Johnson … but not for the reasons you might suspect. Sure, seeing the moldy insides of that blue suction bulb were cringe-worthy, but that wasn’t the worst part. The flashbacks were.
We had one of the Nosefrida baby nose siphons, and it was awesome. It was a veritable Dyson vacuum of snot-suckage, and Moochie wasn’t bothered by it like she was by the dreaded blue bulb. The only problem was that I couldn’t watch or listen to it being used without having dry heaves. Because it had (oh God, I can hardly type these words) clear plastic tubing. Clear. Tubing! ARGHHH!!
The blue bulb was fairly useless, but at least the damn thing was opaque.
I have a problem with phlegm. (There, I said it.) And vomit and mucus. Just typing these words is making me gag. If your adorable toddler waddles up to me with a yellow caterpillar of snot dripping mouthward, I’m not only going to gag, but I’m going to suffer multiple gag-inducing flashbacks.
Old men shooting snot rockets is the reason I am not a Chinatown fish monger, because as much as I’d love a career path that involves the word “monger,” I can’t abide the wet, viscid “THWAK” sound of mucus hitting sidewalk.
It’s my Kryptonite.
But if you’ve got a kid who hasn’t learned how to blow her own nose, that Nosefrida thing really does work.
**Edited to add: because I’ve barely blogged for five months and have at best literally tens of readers, I was certainly not paid to write this post.