An ad featuring these pictures just popped into my inbox and thoroughly disgusted me:
good photo of gross thing by Mitzi Johnson … but not for the reasons you might suspect. Sure, seeing the moldy insides of that blue suction bulb were cringe-worthy, but that wasn’t the worst part. The flashbacks were.
We had one of the Nosefrida baby nose siphons, and it was awesome. It was a veritable Dyson vacuum of snot-suckage, and Moochie wasn’t bothered by it like she was by the dreaded blue bulb. The only problem was that I couldn’t watch or listen to it being used without having dry heaves. Because it had (oh God, I can hardly type these words) clear plastic tubing. Clear. Tubing! ARGHHH!!
The blue bulb was fairly useless, but at least the damn thing was opaque.
I have a problem with phlegm. (There, I said it.) And vomit and mucus. Just typing these words is making me gag. If your adorable toddler waddles up to me with a yellow caterpillar of snot dripping mouthward, I’m not only going to gag, but I’m going to suffer multiple gag-inducing flashbacks.
Old men shooting snot rockets is the reason I am not a Chinatown fish monger, because as much as I’d love a career path that involves the word “monger,” I can’t abide the wet, viscid “THWAK” sound of mucus hitting sidewalk.
It’s my Kryptonite.
But if you’ve got a kid who hasn’t learned how to blow her own nose, that Nosefrida thing really does work.
**Edited to add: because I’ve barely blogged for five months and have at best literally tens of readers, I was certainly not paid to write this post.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I would never use those dang blue bulbs because DUH. OF course they were gross inside. OF COURSE.
So good to see you, kablooey. Crawling out of my hole, trying life back on , one day at a time.
xo
OH! Oh my god no. No No NO to all of it!!!!