When I get suckered into shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond by their free-love coupon policy (use as many as you want at once, expired ones are fine, etc.,) I always regret it. Here’s why:
- I’m listed in The Guinness Book under: “Consecutive Trips to Bed, Bath & Beyond Without Being Able to Locate the Exit.”
- They obviously take returns of defective appliances, slap some packing tape across the top, and restock them. I’ve had to return too many things for it to be coincidental. It’s either a restocking issue or gremlins; you draw your own conclusion.
- Their vast As Seen On TV display somehow suckers me in, despite the fact that I have never bought one of these products while watching their infomercials. I now own Strap Perfect bra clips, Sham-Wow towels and, after my most recent Bed, Bath & Beyond mental breakdown, the stupid, superfluous, tacky, Earth-destroying plastic Butter Boy.*
Why, why, why, why, WHY did I buy Butter Boy??
I survived 48 years on the planet deftly buttering my own cobs. Why did I become convinced I needed the little green gremlin to butter corn? How does that store make me surrender all semblance of reason?
* AUTHOR’S NOTE OF CAUTION: The green, plastic, butter holding alien is the Butter Boy. I’m not linking because I’m trying to perform a consumer service, here. It’s a waste of money. But if you feel compelled to get one, make sure you google Butter Boy, because Boy Butter is an entirely different product.