A Note to the Teacher

March 15, 2011

in Moochie, Why It's Hard Being Me

Dear Mrs. Moochie’s Kindergarten Teacher:

OK, so I didn’t think things through. I’m not second-guessing my decision to take my daughter to a show featuring glamazon drag queens, but maybe I should have considered the fact that 5 year olds will spill all the family secrets if given the opportunity. Not that she should have kept it a secret. Unless maybe she should have.

Because she jumped off the school bus and told me you wanted me to write to tell you what show, exactly, I took her to. Mooch said she didn’t remember the name, but she did tell you that it had “boys dressed up as girls, and you could see their belly buttons.” You were, perhaps understandably, a bit concerned.

Now I know there wasn’t time to pursue the matter what with all the leprechaun-based learning scheduled this week (seriously now — 3 days?), but Moochie could have told you her basic take on the theme of La Cage, which is “you should always be who you are.” She also noted that “the son was wrong to try to make his other father, the one who dressed like a girl, be different.”

You know, I take it back. I think a La Cage aux Folles unit would be a good idea. You might have to cut back a smidge on classroom time devoted to groundhog, valentine and leprechaunian study, but I think you’ll come to agree that the benefits will outweigh the drawbacks.


Moochie’s Reprobate Mom
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous March 15, 2011 at 11:59 am

Why American men should boycott American women


I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.



Kate Coveny Hood March 15, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Who is that anonymous Boycott blogger in commets?? I've had to delete three of his comments on my site. Annoying.

I love that you took your daughter to La Cage. If what she took away is that people shouldn't try to make you be someone other than who you are – then she's learned a valuable life lesson. Far more important than leprechaun figure drawing.


Smooshiest March 15, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Wow, a three-day unit on St. Patrick's Day? Oy! You did a fine thing by seeing the show with Mooch; agreed that the message she took away is a far better one to be taught than what they are exposed to in school, as far as these inane holiday units go.

Also agreed that Anonymous American Woman boycotter is an annoyance – Someone needs to report that!


Quirkyloon March 15, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Ack! Teachers. They mean well. They really do, however, I have found myself at odds with many of their "concerns" over the years.

And I have a feeling it will be that way for a long, long time.



WhisperingWriter March 16, 2011 at 12:52 am

Haha, oops. My daughter would definately blabber all about it to her teacher. She once told her teacher that I scratched her. On purpose.


Boom Boom Larew March 16, 2011 at 1:15 am

You tell 'em, K A B L O O E Y! What 5-year old doesn't like dressing in drag at some point? I'm much rather take a 5-year old to see La Cage than something more "socially acceptable" like Justin Bieber.


K A B L O O E Y March 16, 2011 at 1:44 am

Smooshiest is right, but I don't know how to report him. As an alternate measure, I'm boycotting Boycott American Woman. Also, the word "boycott" sounds funny to me. You know when a word suddenly doesn't sound real anymore, or you forget how to spell "your" for a moment? Or is this just me?


Smooshiest March 16, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Somehow this comment originally posted in the La Cage thread…

OMG – that happens to you, too? It occurs when I type what or when – I have to suddenly get all Jan Brady and pronounce the words outloud )which is what pronouncing is all about – right, Mrs. Lewis? There I am, all "who-en, who-at, who-y" – have no idea which episode it happens in, or it is in all episodes, but clearly, I relate my childhood and horrors of grammar to late 60s early 70s sitcoms – I'll have to think back and see if there are any Partridge Family references that pop up.


Mardi @eatlivetravelwrite March 18, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I like the Kablooey school of education. Who needs all those lame theme-based units when you can have a real education in Manhattan?


The Empress March 19, 2011 at 4:31 am

WTF? I KNOW I left a comment here!!

I must've X'd out before it went through.

Dang it.

Did teach really contact you??



tulpen March 20, 2011 at 12:35 am

The Hippies at my daughter's preschool didn't do a single St. Patrick's Day thing… yay. And I'm sure they'd have LOVED if I'd taken her to a drag show…


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